1 00:00:00,366 --> 00:00:07,424 Look at me. And look at the Queen. I was never a fan until it occurred to me how much 2 00:00:07,427 --> 00:00:08,986 me and Ma'am have in common. 3 00:00:08,987 --> 00:00:11,586 Bringing up kiddies you can't remember the names of. 4 00:00:11,596 --> 00:00:13,595 And I know she's not a single parent, 5 00:00:13,596 --> 00:00:15,517 but she might as well be. Plus... 6 00:00:15,614 --> 00:00:17,892 the pair of us, we've stuck to our guns - 7 00:00:17,967 --> 00:00:19,285 her, literally, sometimes - 8 00:00:19,286 --> 00:00:20,927 and flagshipped a dying breed. 9 00:00:20,928 --> 00:00:23,526 Admired and despised equally. 10 00:00:23,527 --> 00:00:25,047 Not for never lifting a finger. 11 00:00:25,048 --> 00:00:28,806 No - for setting examples through extremity. 12 00:00:28,807 --> 00:00:31,445 And whether you're a bigwig on her end or a bigwig on mine, 13 00:00:31,446 --> 00:00:34,445 you've still got all your dickheads in the middle to deal with - snip, 14 00:00:34,446 --> 00:00:36,165 snip, snipping at your benefits. 15 00:00:36,334 --> 00:00:39,053 I mean, she can't not be looking at me and thinking - 16 00:00:39,084 --> 00:00:43,085 "What's your secret, Frank?" I got shot of my kids yonks back. 17 00:00:44,085 --> 00:00:46,963 Whereas she's yet to see the back of a single one. Fine! 18 00:00:46,964 --> 00:00:48,883 I've had to get out of bed on occasion 19 00:00:48,884 --> 00:00:51,205 to make ends meet, whereas she's done 20 00:00:51,206 --> 00:00:53,324 the whole thing from a chair. 21 00:00:53,325 --> 00:00:56,444 Oh, and a drink for the lady. 22 00:00:56,445 --> 00:00:57,923 Oh, sure, there's perks. 23 00:00:57,924 --> 00:00:59,005 But look at her lot. 24 00:00:59,006 --> 00:01:02,124 Brian May prancing about on her roof. 25 00:01:02,125 --> 00:01:03,964 Now look at my lot... 26 00:01:03,965 --> 00:01:08,083 we know how to throw a proper fucking paaaarty! 27 00:01:08,090 --> 00:01:13,578 Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells http://UKsubtitles.ru. 28 00:01:16,061 --> 00:01:19,059 'Our old Head was never one for motivational speeches. 29 00:01:19,060 --> 00:01:21,179 'The year I left school, he got us all in assembly 30 00:01:21,180 --> 00:01:23,981 'and said, "Well, kids, if I could give you one piece of advice, 31 00:01:23,982 --> 00:01:27,900 "it would be this - lower your expectations." 32 00:01:27,901 --> 00:01:29,859 'Should've lowered his expectations. 33 00:01:29,860 --> 00:01:31,739 'Maybe then, he wouldn't have tried it on 34 00:01:31,740 --> 00:01:33,901 'with Clara Bremmer in the lower sixth. 35 00:01:33,902 --> 00:01:37,620 'Dreams can come true. Look at me. 36 00:01:37,621 --> 00:01:40,861 'When I was ten, all I wanted to do was see the world. 37 00:01:40,862 --> 00:01:44,060 'And now check me ? got me own wheels... 38 00:01:44,061 --> 00:01:46,380 'state-of-the-art sat-nav. 39 00:01:46,381 --> 00:01:50,219 'And every other month, I do a fag run down the Chunnel. 40 00:01:50,220 --> 00:01:53,539 'Then, by the time I was 13, I wanted to be an action hero. 41 00:01:53,540 --> 00:01:55,301 'Shooting guns, battling bad guys.' 42 00:01:55,302 --> 00:01:56,360 Oi! 43 00:01:56,442 --> 00:01:59,400 'And now that's just an average fucking Saturday afternoon! 44 00:01:59,401 --> 00:02:03,402 'And of course, by 15, I wanted one thing and only thing only. 45 00:02:03,882 --> 00:02:06,840 'Sex. A lot of it. And how did that turn out? 46 00:02:06,841 --> 00:02:08,760 'Well, I reckon my rep speaks for itself. 47 00:02:08,761 --> 00:02:12,160 'Even ended up fingering Clara Bremmer day of that stupid assembly. 48 00:02:12,161 --> 00:02:15,320 'And unlike Mr Wainwright, I didn't lose my job over it. 49 00:02:15,321 --> 00:02:18,082 'Yeah, keep them expectations sky high, kids, 50 00:02:18,083 --> 00:02:22,082 'and one day, all this could be yours.' 51 00:02:24,762 --> 00:02:26,361 1.85. 52 00:02:26,362 --> 00:02:27,762 Oh, that's great, that is, Ches. 53 00:02:27,763 --> 00:02:31,762 Ever heard of service with a smile? 54 00:02:32,442 --> 00:02:36,442 Thanks, Lillian, have a nice day. 55 00:02:40,842 --> 00:02:43,000 Oh, cheer up, you miserable git! 56 00:02:43,001 --> 00:02:44,840 If I was you, I'd never stop smiling. 57 00:02:44,841 --> 00:02:46,520 Running my own business at your age? 58 00:02:46,521 --> 00:02:48,682 - Even if it is a bit... - A bit what? 59 00:02:48,683 --> 00:02:52,521 Corner shop-y. 60 00:02:52,522 --> 00:02:54,920 If it was mine, I'd probably brighten things up, 61 00:02:54,921 --> 00:02:58,922 make it the sort of place customers want to hang out in, you know. 62 00:02:59,442 --> 00:03:01,080 Well, it's not yours, is it? 63 00:03:01,081 --> 00:03:05,082 And if it's such a shithole, how comes you're always hanging out here? 64 00:03:06,602 --> 00:03:10,602 Whoa! Ches ? what's going on, man? 65 00:03:11,882 --> 00:03:13,681 Fucking motor's gone! 66 00:03:13,682 --> 00:03:16,961 These are free now, mate. 67 00:03:16,962 --> 00:03:20,962 C'mon, dickhead. 68 00:03:22,442 --> 00:03:23,881 Rough day? 69 00:03:23,882 --> 00:03:25,962 You could say that. Staff cutbacks. 70 00:03:25,963 --> 00:03:27,681 They've let me go. 71 00:03:27,682 --> 00:03:29,001 Shit, I'm sorry. 72 00:03:29,002 --> 00:03:31,800 It's not that I'm worried about. It's telling our Patreesha. 73 00:03:31,801 --> 00:03:33,802 She'll be OK about it, won't she? 74 00:03:33,803 --> 00:03:37,802 She'll be sympathetic. 75 00:03:38,242 --> 00:03:40,882 Very sympathetic. 76 00:03:42,122 --> 00:03:45,001 Yeah, yeah, all right, all right. 77 00:03:45,002 --> 00:03:49,002 Drink it in, ladies! 78 00:03:49,122 --> 00:03:51,521 Fuck me, which one's Mr Pink? 79 00:03:51,522 --> 00:03:54,880 It's called class, Frank. Some of us are born with it, 80 00:03:54,881 --> 00:03:58,082 and some of us get a slap round the face for being a cheeky prick. 81 00:03:58,083 --> 00:04:02,082 Big pro-footballers birthday bash. All VIP, of course. 82 00:04:02,562 --> 00:04:06,441 But if you're a close friend of, ahem, Joe Hart... 83 00:04:06,442 --> 00:04:10,442 Whit woo! What do you reckon, Karen? 84 00:04:10,642 --> 00:04:13,361 - Scrub up all right these lot, don't they? - Don't they just? 85 00:04:13,362 --> 00:04:15,201 Can I have this dance? 86 00:04:15,202 --> 00:04:17,841 Of course! 87 00:04:17,842 --> 00:04:19,761 Did you sort the car? 88 00:04:19,762 --> 00:04:21,401 Yeah. Parked out front. 89 00:04:21,402 --> 00:04:23,520 The only way to make an entrance, Frank. 90 00:04:23,521 --> 00:04:26,720 Well, I hate to break it to you, what with me being nothing 91 00:04:26,721 --> 00:04:28,922 but an un-hosed proletariat and all... 92 00:04:28,923 --> 00:04:30,761 but isn't today the 14th? 93 00:04:30,762 --> 00:04:34,161 You what? 94 00:04:34,162 --> 00:04:36,561 The party was yesterday, you dick! 95 00:04:36,562 --> 00:04:38,081 Oh, fuck nuts! 96 00:04:38,082 --> 00:04:41,481 See, you can't buy class like that. 97 00:04:41,482 --> 00:04:43,002 Didn't you look at them?! 98 00:04:43,003 --> 00:04:47,002 Calm down. A setback is just a new opportunity. 99 00:04:47,082 --> 00:04:51,082 We have a free evening, a five-star hotel on wheels parked out front, 100 00:04:52,482 --> 00:04:56,482 and none of us has to drive. 101 00:04:56,802 --> 00:04:59,362 If you need someone to make up the numbers...? 102 00:04:59,363 --> 00:05:03,362 Sorry, Frank. Strict dress code. 103 00:05:16,002 --> 00:05:20,001 Be with you in a second. 104 00:05:20,002 --> 00:05:24,002 Off you go. 105 00:05:27,242 --> 00:05:30,201 Earning their chemical warfare badges? 106 00:05:30,202 --> 00:05:32,240 Got them at a military antique store. 107 00:05:32,241 --> 00:05:34,640 Used them as first prize in the club-house raffle. 108 00:05:34,641 --> 00:05:38,642 Pissed on that junior cricket set their headmaster donated. 109 00:05:42,002 --> 00:05:45,401 Right. What can I do for you? 110 00:05:45,402 --> 00:05:48,562 Says you're flogging your shop. How much for that chiller cabinet? 111 00:05:48,563 --> 00:05:52,562 Well, it's difficult to say. 112 00:05:53,122 --> 00:05:56,721 Make me an offer. 113 00:05:56,722 --> 00:05:58,121 I've got 300 on me. 114 00:05:58,122 --> 00:05:59,761 It's 305. Sorry. 115 00:05:59,762 --> 00:06:01,042 What? Well, can't you... 116 00:06:01,043 --> 00:06:02,841 Oh, I'm joking. 117 00:06:02,842 --> 00:06:05,560 God, you're a bit of a serious one, aren't you? Lighten up a bit. 118 00:06:05,561 --> 00:06:08,802 Look, do you think I want to spend me evening here haggling over a fridge? 119 00:06:08,803 --> 00:06:10,961 Are you selling it or not? 120 00:06:10,962 --> 00:06:14,962 Well, I might consider it if you go outside, come back in again 121 00:06:15,562 --> 00:06:18,761 and ask me nicely. 122 00:06:18,762 --> 00:06:22,762 Ask me nicely. 123 00:06:30,802 --> 00:06:33,562 Excuse me. May I buy your chiller cabinet? 124 00:06:33,563 --> 00:06:37,562 Please. 125 00:06:37,642 --> 00:06:40,441 Ohhhh, you poor thing. 126 00:06:40,442 --> 00:06:43,441 It'll be fine. Something will come up. 127 00:06:43,442 --> 00:06:47,161 Unemployed... at your age. 128 00:06:47,162 --> 00:06:48,321 Ta. 129 00:06:48,322 --> 00:06:50,761 - What are you going to do about it, Mum? - Well... 130 00:06:50,762 --> 00:06:53,200 Your mother is a very determined woman. 131 00:06:53,201 --> 00:06:57,000 There's always work out there if you're prepared to lower your standards a little. 132 00:06:57,001 --> 00:07:00,282 Maybe I'll try becoming a lady of leisure for a bit... 133 00:07:00,283 --> 00:07:02,121 like you. 134 00:07:02,122 --> 00:07:04,321 I'm hardly a lady of leisure. 135 00:07:04,322 --> 00:07:07,760 I'm on the board of directors for mine and Bernard's business empire, remember? 136 00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:09,000 Oh, you mean the car wash? 137 00:07:09,001 --> 00:07:11,560 Since when did you have anything to do with that? 138 00:07:11,561 --> 00:07:13,080 I oversee it all from a distance. 139 00:07:13,081 --> 00:07:15,760 Yeah, on the sofa, watching Jeremy Kyle. 140 00:07:15,761 --> 00:07:17,080 I could get you a job there. 141 00:07:17,081 --> 00:07:18,760 I don't want to work in a car wash. 142 00:07:18,761 --> 00:07:21,522 I'll have a word tomorrow, see if I can sort you something out. 143 00:07:21,523 --> 00:07:25,522 I don't know what you'd do without me sometimes. 144 00:07:25,802 --> 00:07:29,641 Right, here we are. Got to keep the VAT man happy. 145 00:07:29,642 --> 00:07:32,081 Democracy isn't free, you know? 146 00:07:32,082 --> 00:07:33,640 How comes you're selling up? 147 00:07:33,641 --> 00:07:36,240 I just work here. It's the owner that's selling it - 148 00:07:36,241 --> 00:07:39,400 him and his partner opening up some place in Ibiza. 149 00:07:39,401 --> 00:07:42,922 Can't say I'll miss it. I was getting too comfy here, anyway. 150 00:07:42,923 --> 00:07:44,681 Itchy feet. 151 00:07:44,682 --> 00:07:45,920 I know the feeling. 152 00:07:45,921 --> 00:07:49,682 Oh, please! If I'd have had your sense, running my own business at 19, 153 00:07:49,683 --> 00:07:53,682 I'd have owned half the world by now. 154 00:07:54,002 --> 00:07:58,002 You should tuck your shirt in. 155 00:08:24,202 --> 00:08:28,202 I'm telling you, Cool Britannia... We had it all then. 156 00:08:28,762 --> 00:08:31,241 You know what fucked it all up? 157 00:08:31,242 --> 00:08:33,280 Tony Blair. Things Can Only Get Better? 158 00:08:33,281 --> 00:08:35,760 Nah, nah, nah. It was never about the Government. 159 00:08:35,761 --> 00:08:38,762 Tory, Labour, right? One man killed it for us all. 160 00:08:38,763 --> 00:08:42,762 26th of June, 1996. 161 00:08:43,602 --> 00:08:45,801 Gareth fucking Southgate! 162 00:08:45,802 --> 00:08:48,720 Gareth Southgate. Because we believed, you see? 163 00:08:48,721 --> 00:08:52,722 And then some long-faced gimp kicks left instead of right and BANG. 164 00:08:52,723 --> 00:08:56,722 The greatest single decade in British history is over. 165 00:08:58,482 --> 00:09:01,881 That was 17 years ago. 166 00:09:01,882 --> 00:09:04,201 Fuuuck! 167 00:09:04,202 --> 00:09:07,161 Right. If you could go back? 168 00:09:07,162 --> 00:09:10,042 To '96, '97, whatever, talk to yourself... 169 00:09:10,043 --> 00:09:11,921 do things different... 170 00:09:11,922 --> 00:09:13,200 what would you change? 171 00:09:13,201 --> 00:09:17,202 I spent the whole of my late teens chasing Sarah Laymon... 172 00:09:17,762 --> 00:09:21,762 Remember her? Ended up being best man at her civil partnership. 173 00:09:22,842 --> 00:09:24,161 Wasted years. Yeah. 174 00:09:24,162 --> 00:09:28,162 Most of mine surrounded by four grey walls and a fucking slop bucket. 175 00:09:28,282 --> 00:09:30,760 But you make the best, you pull yourself up again. 176 00:09:30,761 --> 00:09:32,122 But you never get them back. 177 00:09:32,123 --> 00:09:35,241 And you'll always wonder... What about you? 178 00:09:35,242 --> 00:09:37,041 No, nothing. 179 00:09:37,042 --> 00:09:39,082 Come on, everyone wants to change something. 180 00:09:39,083 --> 00:09:40,961 No, no, not me. 181 00:09:40,962 --> 00:09:44,082 Been around, seen the world, found my soulmate 182 00:09:44,083 --> 00:09:46,961 and got the perfect kids to show for it. 183 00:09:46,962 --> 00:09:50,962 Wouldn't change a thing. 184 00:10:13,882 --> 00:10:16,081 I'll sort it. 185 00:10:16,082 --> 00:10:20,082 No, no, no. I rented it, let me have a word. 186 00:10:24,682 --> 00:10:28,241 Kassi Blanco?! 187 00:10:28,242 --> 00:10:29,961 Disappointed, Blanco. 188 00:10:29,962 --> 00:10:32,322 Money laundering, fraud by misrepresentation 189 00:10:32,323 --> 00:10:36,322 and then you hire this in your own name. 190 00:10:37,802 --> 00:10:39,332 Call Esther. 191 00:10:46,504 --> 00:10:48,183 Refused bail... 192 00:10:48,184 --> 00:10:50,903 and they won't let us see him. 193 00:10:50,904 --> 00:10:53,262 I'll sort this, Esther. We'll sort this. 194 00:10:53,263 --> 00:10:55,942 Oh, you know Kassi, par for the course. 195 00:10:55,943 --> 00:10:57,784 Better get back, whole load of food to prep. 196 00:10:57,785 --> 00:11:00,223 Proper behind sched now. 197 00:11:00,224 --> 00:11:02,144 I couldn't bag a hand off you, could I? 198 00:11:02,145 --> 00:11:04,223 Big order for Tuesday. 199 00:11:04,224 --> 00:11:08,224 Yeah. 200 00:11:11,304 --> 00:11:12,703 Oh, there you are. 201 00:11:12,704 --> 00:11:15,064 Boys have got it all cleaned up for you. 202 00:11:15,065 --> 00:11:19,064 Perks of Arkaladom. I can see how fascism starts. 203 00:11:19,304 --> 00:11:23,304 And what you giving them for their trouble today? Land mines? 204 00:11:24,024 --> 00:11:28,024 Any one of those boys would walk through a hail of gunfire for me. 205 00:11:28,344 --> 00:11:31,982 I shan't ask them to, though - some parent would have a shit-fit! 206 00:11:31,983 --> 00:11:34,902 Right, shall we get this in your van, then? 207 00:11:34,903 --> 00:11:36,622 So, this cabinet you're buying, 208 00:11:36,623 --> 00:11:39,944 it's part of some refurbishment you're doing, then? 209 00:11:39,945 --> 00:11:42,663 Nah, just needed a new one. 210 00:11:42,664 --> 00:11:44,903 A big refurbishment? 211 00:11:44,904 --> 00:11:46,103 Well... 212 00:11:46,104 --> 00:11:48,623 I mean, I've been thinking lately 213 00:11:48,624 --> 00:11:50,544 I could probably do a lot more with the place. 214 00:11:50,545 --> 00:11:54,263 Thinking, eh? Anyone can think, Chesney. I can think. 215 00:11:54,264 --> 00:11:58,264 Don't you ever want to just do it? 216 00:11:59,344 --> 00:12:00,943 Are you OK? 217 00:12:00,944 --> 00:12:03,623 Yeah, yeah. 218 00:12:03,624 --> 00:12:07,024 What if I wanted more than just the chiller cabinet? 219 00:12:07,025 --> 00:12:11,024 Well, it's all up for grabs, Ches. What you after? 220 00:12:12,544 --> 00:12:16,544 All of it. 221 00:12:17,064 --> 00:12:19,183 Tam? 222 00:12:19,184 --> 00:12:20,583 He's gone out. 223 00:12:20,584 --> 00:12:22,182 God knows what they'll be up to! 224 00:12:22,183 --> 00:12:24,342 Last time he was on baby-sitting duties 225 00:12:24,343 --> 00:12:26,102 he got our Saul's face painted. 226 00:12:26,103 --> 00:12:28,102 Full-on black-and-white minstrel. 227 00:12:28,103 --> 00:12:31,222 Claims he thought it was a panda, but I reckon he knew. 228 00:12:31,223 --> 00:12:34,062 Couldn't get it off for days, had to take him for his jabs like that. 229 00:12:34,063 --> 00:12:36,464 Doctor Abonzo really didn't see the funny side. 230 00:12:36,465 --> 00:12:39,743 So, what are you going to tell them? The kids? 231 00:12:39,744 --> 00:12:40,783 About what? 232 00:12:40,784 --> 00:12:41,903 Kassi? 233 00:12:41,904 --> 00:12:43,342 No point fretting 'em. 234 00:12:43,343 --> 00:12:45,062 I'll say he's on business for a few days. 235 00:12:45,063 --> 00:12:46,542 He'll be back by the end of the week. 236 00:12:46,543 --> 00:12:47,822 He's been refused bail! 237 00:12:47,823 --> 00:12:50,302 Well, he would be. Skipped on it before. 238 00:12:50,303 --> 00:12:53,984 I appreciate the concern but it's nothing to worry about. Honestly. 239 00:12:53,985 --> 00:12:57,984 Start stirring this. Clockwise. Do you want to help? 240 00:12:58,824 --> 00:13:02,824 No, I don't. 241 00:13:10,904 --> 00:13:12,822 It's because I'll be your boss, isn't it? 242 00:13:12,823 --> 00:13:15,383 - That's what all the pissing and moaning's about. - No. 243 00:13:15,445 --> 00:13:17,283 It's cos I don't want to work in a car wash. 244 00:13:17,284 --> 00:13:19,403 Have you ever heard the expression, "Beggars can't be choosers"? 245 00:13:19,404 --> 00:13:21,803 Have you ever heard the expression, "Fuck off"? 246 00:13:21,804 --> 00:13:24,763 Only looking out for you, just like I always have. 247 00:13:24,764 --> 00:13:27,285 And, by the way, it's not a car wash... 248 00:13:27,286 --> 00:13:31,285 it's the car wash - South Manchester's finest. 249 00:13:31,685 --> 00:13:34,045 We take three times what all the others make round here. 250 00:13:34,046 --> 00:13:36,204 This place? How? 251 00:13:36,205 --> 00:13:38,844 Because I'm in charge, naturally. 252 00:13:38,845 --> 00:13:40,485 Have you ever actually been inside? 253 00:13:40,486 --> 00:13:44,485 No! Exciting, isn't it? 254 00:13:45,005 --> 00:13:48,405 It's like Mary Portas marching into Harvey Nicks. 255 00:13:48,406 --> 00:13:52,405 Yeah. That's exactly what it's like! 256 00:13:54,885 --> 00:13:57,084 Yep... it's a shit-hole. 257 00:13:57,085 --> 00:13:59,645 But it won't be - I'll take everything from yours. 258 00:13:59,646 --> 00:14:01,764 All your olde-worlde shit. 259 00:14:01,765 --> 00:14:05,765 Mod meets classic. Local shop and chemist's. 260 00:14:06,245 --> 00:14:09,965 Well, you just might own the world by time you're 40 after all. 261 00:14:09,966 --> 00:14:12,484 Aren't you clever? 262 00:14:12,485 --> 00:14:14,643 Mind you, if you're going to open a chemist's 263 00:14:14,644 --> 00:14:16,085 you're going to need someone 264 00:14:16,086 --> 00:14:19,684 with a Pharmacist Practitioner licence, aren't you? 265 00:14:19,685 --> 00:14:23,084 You need me. 266 00:14:23,085 --> 00:14:24,283 You want to work for me? 267 00:14:24,284 --> 00:14:27,123 Do I fuck?! I want to work with you - partners. 268 00:14:27,124 --> 00:14:28,923 Just to get you started anyway - 269 00:14:28,924 --> 00:14:30,563 wouldn't want to hang around too long, 270 00:14:30,564 --> 00:14:31,925 I've still got plans of my own. 271 00:14:31,926 --> 00:14:35,925 Until then, Ches, let's face it... you need me. 272 00:14:55,045 --> 00:14:56,444 Who was that? 273 00:14:56,445 --> 00:15:00,445 Oh, Remona. She's amazing. We're going into business together. 274 00:15:00,645 --> 00:15:02,083 Chesco's getting an upgrade! 275 00:15:02,084 --> 00:15:04,043 You never said anything about this before. 276 00:15:04,044 --> 00:15:05,443 She just got me thinking. 277 00:15:05,444 --> 00:15:09,445 You know, I'm 21, doing all right, should want a bit more out of life. 278 00:15:09,885 --> 00:15:11,923 That's exactly what I said, isn't it? 279 00:15:11,924 --> 00:15:13,563 Maybe she just phrased it better? 280 00:15:13,564 --> 00:15:16,123 I'll bet. Knowing Ches, she phrased it better 281 00:15:16,124 --> 00:15:17,363 with a cleavage you could park a Harley in. 282 00:15:17,364 --> 00:15:19,165 Fuck off! I don't fancy her! 283 00:15:19,166 --> 00:15:21,604 Yeah, sounds like it. 284 00:15:21,605 --> 00:15:25,605 M-M-Mwah! Whatever. 285 00:15:25,725 --> 00:15:29,725 Patreesha. Patreesha St Rose? 286 00:15:30,925 --> 00:15:33,843 So, er, do you want a car doing, then, or...? 287 00:15:33,844 --> 00:15:35,605 All right, where's the manager? 288 00:15:35,606 --> 00:15:38,165 'Mr Black Mercedes is in again.' 289 00:15:40,725 --> 00:15:43,725 Manager? 290 00:15:49,765 --> 00:15:52,124 There you go, love. 291 00:15:52,125 --> 00:15:54,084 I can't say I'm surprised. 292 00:15:54,085 --> 00:15:58,085 Could see he was a wrong-un from the off. Nature versus nurture. 293 00:15:58,925 --> 00:16:00,683 Never had your upbringing, see? 294 00:16:00,684 --> 00:16:04,165 You do realise that all three of us have been prison at least once? 295 00:16:04,166 --> 00:16:07,324 Yeah, but for proper fucking stuff. 296 00:16:07,325 --> 00:16:09,683 Not signing forms in the wrong name, or whatever. 297 00:16:09,684 --> 00:16:12,283 Anyway, these days, we're respectable. 298 00:16:12,284 --> 00:16:14,685 How's the magic mushroom business going, Mum? 299 00:16:14,686 --> 00:16:16,524 Really good, son. 300 00:16:16,525 --> 00:16:20,525 Oh, good. 301 00:16:26,285 --> 00:16:28,804 Unexpected item in the bagging area. 302 00:16:28,805 --> 00:16:31,004 Lovely. 303 00:16:31,005 --> 00:16:33,765 Oh, here she is! Hey, I missed my alarm call this morning. 304 00:16:33,766 --> 00:16:35,004 What alarm call? 305 00:16:35,005 --> 00:16:36,963 You and lover boy's morning delight - 306 00:16:36,964 --> 00:16:38,765 headboard shaking us out of bed. 307 00:16:38,766 --> 00:16:41,444 Aw, soz, Frank. He's away all week. 308 00:16:41,445 --> 00:16:43,645 I'll try and rattle it for you on my own! 309 00:16:43,646 --> 00:16:47,645 That's the spirit. 310 00:16:48,045 --> 00:16:50,364 Last time. 311 00:16:50,365 --> 00:16:52,684 Did she say anything? 312 00:16:52,685 --> 00:16:53,885 She said loads of stuff. 313 00:16:53,886 --> 00:16:55,204 Like...? 314 00:16:55,205 --> 00:16:58,565 Like, "Dough rises fastest at 80 degree temperatures." 315 00:16:58,566 --> 00:17:01,364 That's true. 316 00:17:01,365 --> 00:17:02,604 Well, it is! 317 00:17:02,605 --> 00:17:05,403 Husband's looking at ten years and she's running cookery classes 318 00:17:05,404 --> 00:17:07,445 and pissing about with Gallagher. 319 00:17:07,446 --> 00:17:10,004 I just don't get the woman. 320 00:17:10,005 --> 00:17:12,403 She'll do anything you like, she's not proud, my sister. 321 00:17:12,404 --> 00:17:14,525 You can get her scrubbing the toilets if you want. 322 00:17:14,526 --> 00:17:18,525 I'm not hiring anyone until I've spoken with your, er... 323 00:17:19,765 --> 00:17:23,765 ..husband. 324 00:17:29,365 --> 00:17:32,364 Well? 325 00:17:32,365 --> 00:17:34,044 You know what he said? 326 00:17:34,045 --> 00:17:36,523 You can have a job but you'll be scrubbing the toilets. 327 00:17:36,524 --> 00:17:39,805 I told him no sister of mine will be doing any such thing. 328 00:17:39,806 --> 00:17:41,364 Right... 329 00:17:41,365 --> 00:17:44,925 Can we go home now, then? We're missing Jeremy Kyle. 330 00:17:44,926 --> 00:17:48,244 Jeremy Kyle finished two hours ago. 331 00:17:48,245 --> 00:17:49,725 Oh, shut up! 332 00:18:09,805 --> 00:18:13,324 It's a drive through suck shop! 333 00:18:13,325 --> 00:18:15,765 "I'm going to walk in there like Mary Portas!" 334 00:18:15,766 --> 00:18:17,604 More like Heidi Fleis! 335 00:18:17,605 --> 00:18:19,003 Well, it won't be funny for them. 336 00:18:19,004 --> 00:18:21,805 Not when I call the police on their nasty little operation. 337 00:18:21,806 --> 00:18:24,044 Er, speak to Dad first, please. 338 00:18:24,045 --> 00:18:28,045 Both your names are on that place, I'm scared you might get in trouble. 339 00:18:28,285 --> 00:18:30,684 Look at that, they're here too. 340 00:18:30,685 --> 00:18:32,844 You used to love the gays. 341 00:18:32,845 --> 00:18:36,845 Going home. Getting one of my heads. 342 00:18:37,525 --> 00:18:41,525 Er, go easier on her, yeah? 343 00:18:42,765 --> 00:18:46,765 ..found his body under a pub somewhere in Leicestershire. 344 00:18:47,325 --> 00:18:49,923 Eh, Karen, thanks for helping us out today. 345 00:18:49,924 --> 00:18:51,565 Couldn't twist your arm tomorrow, could I? 346 00:18:51,566 --> 00:18:52,604 Yeah... 347 00:18:52,605 --> 00:18:55,685 I mean, I figured that you'd want to go and see Kassi tomorrow. 348 00:18:55,686 --> 00:18:59,204 Oh, no, he's probably glad of a few days' peace. 349 00:18:59,205 --> 00:19:02,803 I know I would be! Raising three kids, you take it where you get it. 350 00:19:02,804 --> 00:19:03,803 Am I right, Frank? 351 00:19:03,804 --> 00:19:05,645 Preaching to the choir, sister! 352 00:19:09,445 --> 00:19:11,124 All right, Jamie? 353 00:19:11,125 --> 00:19:13,563 Y'know, we were having a chat the other night, me and Kas, 354 00:19:13,564 --> 00:19:16,805 about what you'd change in your life, if you could. 355 00:19:16,806 --> 00:19:20,805 He said he'd change nothing. Said his life was perfect. 356 00:19:21,525 --> 00:19:24,204 He said that? "Perfect"? 357 00:19:24,205 --> 00:19:27,844 So... what? This was all he wanted was it? 358 00:19:27,845 --> 00:19:28,885 "Pull on the brakes, 359 00:19:28,886 --> 00:19:32,885 "that's good enough, thank you, let's just stop here"?! 360 00:19:33,685 --> 00:19:37,685 She said I could have another... 361 00:19:38,085 --> 00:19:39,564 There you go, Frank. 362 00:19:39,565 --> 00:19:42,525 A fresh one, y'know 363 00:19:55,325 --> 00:19:56,564 Boyfriend? 364 00:19:56,565 --> 00:20:00,565 Business acquaintance. I prefer my men a bit more... 365 00:20:01,805 --> 00:20:05,204 Well, yeah, something like that. 366 00:20:05,205 --> 00:20:09,205 Aw, don't worry about it, Chesney, happens to all men, now and again! 367 00:20:09,405 --> 00:20:11,004 Go, do your measuring. 368 00:20:11,005 --> 00:20:15,004 Oh, I'm only messing about, you clot. 369 00:20:15,005 --> 00:20:16,644 I'll fetch the contract. 370 00:20:16,645 --> 00:20:18,404 Whoa, contract? 371 00:20:18,405 --> 00:20:22,405 Yeah, drew one up for us. 372 00:20:26,965 --> 00:20:30,965 Look, Remona... 373 00:20:35,525 --> 00:20:39,525 Don't use that, you idiot! Use the screwdriver. 374 00:20:49,245 --> 00:20:51,324 Just there, hon. 375 00:20:51,325 --> 00:20:55,325 I don't have a pen. 376 00:20:59,005 --> 00:21:03,005 Be prepared. 377 00:21:05,485 --> 00:21:07,543 Just there, hon. 378 00:21:35,983 --> 00:21:37,582 Fuck me! 379 00:21:37,583 --> 00:21:39,103 Friend of yours? 380 00:21:44,183 --> 00:21:48,183 I want a refund. It doesn't work and it tastes funny. 381 00:21:51,115 --> 00:21:52,394 No, but... 382 00:21:52,395 --> 00:21:55,354 I thought that... 383 00:21:55,355 --> 00:21:58,675 So you'll speak to our solicitors and handle it all? 384 00:21:58,676 --> 00:22:01,194 OK. Love you too. Bye! 385 00:22:01,195 --> 00:22:03,795 What you doing? I wanted to say hello. 386 00:22:03,796 --> 00:22:05,674 Sorry. Signal dropped. 387 00:22:05,675 --> 00:22:08,554 Was that before or after you said bye? 388 00:22:08,555 --> 00:22:12,555 After. But, anyway, Bernard's going to take care of everything, 389 00:22:12,635 --> 00:22:16,073 so all we have to do is put the whole stupid thing out of our minds. 390 00:22:16,074 --> 00:22:19,033 Oh, so he's going to sort it? Get rid of them all? 391 00:22:19,034 --> 00:22:20,993 Does that mean I can get a job there now? 392 00:22:20,994 --> 00:22:24,035 What do you want to work in a car wash for?! 393 00:22:24,036 --> 00:22:27,714 Have a bit of pride in yourself for once. 394 00:22:27,715 --> 00:22:29,793 "Our own house, one we actually own, 395 00:22:29,794 --> 00:22:32,595 "preferably a long way from this arse end cesspit!" No offence. 396 00:22:32,596 --> 00:22:34,794 None taken. 397 00:22:34,795 --> 00:22:36,754 Come in! 398 00:22:36,755 --> 00:22:39,075 Oh, you're just in time! You'll like this. 399 00:22:39,076 --> 00:22:40,594 I've made a list! 400 00:22:40,595 --> 00:22:41,594 I helped! 401 00:22:41,595 --> 00:22:43,673 Frank helped. Things I want, for me and Kass. 402 00:22:43,674 --> 00:22:46,233 He says we're perfect? He's forgotten, that's all. 403 00:22:46,234 --> 00:22:48,315 There's so much more perfect we still need to be. 404 00:22:48,316 --> 00:22:51,234 Read out number six. I did number six. 405 00:22:51,235 --> 00:22:53,355 I didn't write that one down, Frank. 406 00:22:53,356 --> 00:22:54,454 Oh. 407 00:22:54,510 --> 00:22:56,908 I'm going to see Kassi. I thought you might want a lift. 408 00:22:56,909 --> 00:22:58,308 Going to finish my list first. 409 00:22:58,309 --> 00:23:00,988 Oh, Karen! Don't worry about helping us box that baklava, 410 00:23:00,989 --> 00:23:02,268 going to do it tonight now. 411 00:23:02,269 --> 00:23:04,948 He needs a brief. Have you spoken to anyone? 412 00:23:04,949 --> 00:23:07,388 Given any thought to doing anything to help? 413 00:23:07,389 --> 00:23:09,230 Kassi always deals with that sort of stuff. 414 00:23:09,231 --> 00:23:13,149 Kass can't sort it! He's in a fucking police cell! 415 00:23:13,150 --> 00:23:14,508 I know where he is, Jamie. 416 00:23:14,509 --> 00:23:16,748 - You've got a funny way of showing it. - All right, Jamie... 417 00:23:16,749 --> 00:23:18,628 No, it's not all right! If it was me in there 418 00:23:18,629 --> 00:23:21,270 would you be sat round the house baking fucking cakes?! 419 00:23:21,271 --> 00:23:24,669 Baklava. 420 00:23:24,670 --> 00:23:25,830 I just don't get you. 421 00:23:25,831 --> 00:23:27,989 No. You don't. 422 00:23:27,990 --> 00:23:31,430 Because if you did, you wouldn't come marching in here trying to 423 00:23:31,431 --> 00:23:35,430 tell me how I'm supposed to act over my husband. 424 00:23:40,950 --> 00:23:44,430 He's just worried, Esther. 425 00:23:49,710 --> 00:23:53,349 Why didn't you put down number six? It was good. 426 00:23:53,350 --> 00:23:56,189 Cub scouts? With gas masks? 427 00:23:56,190 --> 00:23:58,269 Gas masks, chemistry sets 428 00:23:58,270 --> 00:24:00,828 and a great big fucking seating plan of a commercial jet! 429 00:24:00,829 --> 00:24:04,228 And there was this bloke she was with, should have seen him. 430 00:24:04,229 --> 00:24:07,788 You couldn't look more terrorist if you tried. Beard, the works. 431 00:24:07,789 --> 00:24:09,350 Do you know what you sound like?! 432 00:24:09,351 --> 00:24:12,989 Yeah, I do. I was ten when the 9/11 happened, 433 00:24:12,990 --> 00:24:16,150 and I still remember the way people looked at my dad the day after, 434 00:24:16,151 --> 00:24:19,389 like it was suddenly "us" and "them". 435 00:24:19,390 --> 00:24:21,949 And now I sound like a "them". 436 00:24:21,950 --> 00:24:25,950 But that doesn't necessarily make it bollocks. 437 00:24:26,190 --> 00:24:28,109 I've got to go over later. 438 00:24:28,110 --> 00:24:31,350 Come with us, see for yourself, tell me if I'm being a dick. 439 00:24:31,351 --> 00:24:34,829 Why me? 440 00:24:34,830 --> 00:24:37,589 Cos you're, like... 441 00:24:37,590 --> 00:24:41,590 the only sort of intelligent person I know. 442 00:24:42,510 --> 00:24:43,948 Yeah, all right, then. 443 00:24:43,949 --> 00:24:47,590 Quite fancy seeing what sort of woman can get you to sign over half your shop 444 00:24:47,591 --> 00:24:50,189 by fluttering her eyelashes. 445 00:24:50,190 --> 00:24:54,190 I do not fancy her. It's just this thing she does 446 00:24:55,750 --> 00:24:56,950 with her mouth. 447 00:24:58,550 --> 00:25:02,229 No, no, no! It's not like that! 448 00:25:02,230 --> 00:25:06,230 OK! 449 00:25:10,830 --> 00:25:13,309 I'm not getting out of this one. 450 00:25:13,310 --> 00:25:14,309 Mate... 451 00:25:14,310 --> 00:25:16,669 All out of karma. 452 00:25:16,670 --> 00:25:17,709 Fuck! 453 00:25:17,710 --> 00:25:21,589 No, no. None of that matters. 454 00:25:21,590 --> 00:25:23,389 She matters. 455 00:25:23,390 --> 00:25:25,829 She'll tell me that she'll be OK, 456 00:25:25,830 --> 00:25:27,949 and I'll say I don't doubt it. 457 00:25:27,950 --> 00:25:31,950 What else can you say? 458 00:25:31,990 --> 00:25:35,990 But we'll both know we're lying. 459 00:25:38,990 --> 00:25:42,990 Jamie, promise me you'll take care of her. 460 00:25:47,670 --> 00:25:49,270 I need a word with your mum. 461 00:25:49,271 --> 00:25:50,269 Not here. 462 00:25:50,270 --> 00:25:52,509 I'll come back, then. 463 00:25:52,510 --> 00:25:54,909 Actually, Tam... 464 00:25:54,910 --> 00:25:56,590 Do you mind if I come in for five minutes? 465 00:25:56,591 --> 00:26:00,590 No. 466 00:26:08,070 --> 00:26:11,749 Bernard knew, didn't he? He lets them use the place. 467 00:26:11,750 --> 00:26:14,070 That's where all the money comes from. 468 00:26:14,071 --> 00:26:15,069 What?! 469 00:26:15,070 --> 00:26:17,590 Oh, come off it, it's not that big a deal. 470 00:26:17,591 --> 00:26:21,590 Makes sense, actually. You did always love your gays! 471 00:26:21,910 --> 00:26:23,189 I did not! 472 00:26:23,190 --> 00:26:26,908 What about your clique back in the day? Those three lads? 473 00:26:26,909 --> 00:26:28,788 Used to follow you everywhere? 474 00:26:28,789 --> 00:26:29,830 They weren't gay. 475 00:26:29,831 --> 00:26:32,549 People called you The Pink Ladies! 476 00:26:32,550 --> 00:26:34,790 Two of them wore more mascara than... 477 00:26:34,791 --> 00:26:38,790 You can't always tell, OK?! Can't always tell. 478 00:27:04,030 --> 00:27:06,149 You said he were working. 479 00:27:06,150 --> 00:27:07,869 Upstairs. 480 00:27:07,870 --> 00:27:09,749 Why didn't you tell us? 481 00:27:09,750 --> 00:27:13,750 Up. Stairs. 482 00:27:19,870 --> 00:27:20,988 They needed to know. 483 00:27:20,989 --> 00:27:22,428 Who the hell do you think you are?! 484 00:27:22,429 --> 00:27:23,028 Their uncle. 485 00:27:23,029 --> 00:27:24,510 You don't know them, or me. 486 00:27:24,511 --> 00:27:27,509 You don't even know Kassi! 487 00:27:27,510 --> 00:27:31,510 I made him a promise. I'm going to be there for you and them. 488 00:27:32,870 --> 00:27:36,069 And what if we don't want you there, Jamie? 489 00:27:36,070 --> 00:27:37,570 Well, then I guess we have a problem. 490 00:27:37,571 --> 00:27:41,570 Yeah, I guess we do. 491 00:27:46,750 --> 00:27:50,268 You needn't have stopped by. I've got most of it down. 492 00:27:50,269 --> 00:27:54,270 Figured we could just move it all tomorrow. I'm just shutting up. 493 00:27:55,750 --> 00:27:58,829 Oh, either of you want a brew or anything? 494 00:27:58,830 --> 00:28:00,149 No, thanks. 495 00:28:00,150 --> 00:28:03,590 Tell your woman she's allowed to speak for herself, 496 00:28:03,591 --> 00:28:07,590 we're very anti-oppression round here. 497 00:28:12,390 --> 00:28:15,829 See? She talks like that all the time. 498 00:28:15,830 --> 00:28:17,829 With her mouth? 499 00:28:17,830 --> 00:28:19,828 She's not doing that thing today! 500 00:28:19,829 --> 00:28:21,468 I mean, "anti-oppression". 501 00:28:21,469 --> 00:28:23,670 It sounds kind of terroristy, don't it? 502 00:28:23,671 --> 00:28:24,710 Don't it? 503 00:28:33,150 --> 00:28:36,429 No, no, no! It was all here! 504 00:28:36,430 --> 00:28:40,430 There was beakers, wires and there was a picture of a plane right there. 505 00:28:41,310 --> 00:28:45,310 If it makes you feel any better I'm pretty certain she's not a terrorist. 506 00:28:45,350 --> 00:28:46,908 Well, what's this, then? 507 00:28:46,909 --> 00:28:50,910 That's a flight number, right? MDD407? What else could it be? 508 00:29:07,430 --> 00:29:08,995 - Sorry! - Idiot! 509 00:29:13,870 --> 00:29:15,629 What? 510 00:29:15,630 --> 00:29:18,389 I don't... 511 00:29:18,390 --> 00:29:21,509 What is it? 512 00:29:21,510 --> 00:29:24,550 I saw this programme once, it was about how people make 513 00:29:24,551 --> 00:29:27,429 explosives out of household bits and... 514 00:29:27,430 --> 00:29:31,430 Well, it was literally everything in this box. 515 00:29:43,430 --> 00:29:47,109 What? 516 00:29:47,110 --> 00:29:51,110 We were talking, me and Kassi, about having another kid. 517 00:29:52,030 --> 00:29:55,229 It's what we both wanted, what I wanted. 518 00:29:55,230 --> 00:29:57,909 You're his brother... 519 00:29:57,910 --> 00:30:00,588 Don't worry, no actual penetration required. 520 00:30:00,589 --> 00:30:04,590 Just lend us one of your wank rags to wring out, I'll do the rest. 521 00:30:08,710 --> 00:30:12,710 It's a joke, Jamie. You deserved that. 522 00:30:13,470 --> 00:30:15,109 They're moving him. 523 00:30:15,110 --> 00:30:16,270 I'm too late to visit. 524 00:30:16,271 --> 00:30:20,270 You reckon you can sort anything, don't you? 525 00:30:20,990 --> 00:30:22,390 Yeah, I'll handle it. 526 00:30:22,391 --> 00:30:26,390 Good. 527 00:30:26,590 --> 00:30:30,590 And we'll talk about the jizz donation another time, yeah? 528 00:30:33,430 --> 00:30:35,549 Right. Now. 529 00:30:35,550 --> 00:30:37,429 All right, Mary-Lou? 530 00:30:37,430 --> 00:30:38,949 Er, Mary Mae. 531 00:30:38,950 --> 00:30:42,229 Really? Are you sure? You look like a Mary-Lou. 532 00:30:42,230 --> 00:30:44,508 Chesney? Tuck your shirt in, you're on duty. 533 00:30:44,509 --> 00:30:48,228 Right, I want all the bottles from that shelf putting on the shelf above, 534 00:30:48,229 --> 00:30:49,270 I want that shelf clear. 535 00:30:49,271 --> 00:30:53,270 Have you done that freezer like I told you? 536 00:30:56,990 --> 00:30:58,989 So it is a flight number? 537 00:30:58,990 --> 00:31:00,908 Do you think we're just being stupid? 538 00:31:00,909 --> 00:31:02,108 I don't know, do I? 539 00:31:02,109 --> 00:31:04,628 You see, this is the problem. What am I supposed to do, 540 00:31:04,629 --> 00:31:08,228 ring up MI5 and say, "She's a Muslim and she's got hair lacquer"?! 541 00:31:08,229 --> 00:31:12,188 You need to talk to her. Get her going about Muslim stuff. Fundamentalism. 542 00:31:12,189 --> 00:31:15,188 And what? Hope she says, "Allahu Akbar, death to the West!"? 543 00:31:15,189 --> 00:31:16,744 - Don't be stupid! - Mary Mae! 544 00:31:18,230 --> 00:31:22,230 Sorry to grab you like this. I wouldn't normally but I'm worried. 545 00:31:23,550 --> 00:31:25,228 It's about your mum and dad... 546 00:31:25,229 --> 00:31:28,310 Auntie Avril, it's fine. I do know they're not together any more. 547 00:31:28,311 --> 00:31:30,280 - You do?! - Sure. We all do, don't we? 548 00:31:30,870 --> 00:31:33,789 Mmm. Why don't they just get divorced? 549 00:31:33,790 --> 00:31:36,508 It would mean Mum having to give a reason. The reason. 550 00:31:36,509 --> 00:31:40,190 I honestly think it would kill her if she thought people knew the truth. 551 00:31:40,191 --> 00:31:41,469 Particularly me. 552 00:31:41,470 --> 00:31:44,949 Especially you. 553 00:31:44,950 --> 00:31:47,349 I know. 554 00:31:47,350 --> 00:31:51,350 Oh, Mary Mae? 555 00:31:51,430 --> 00:31:53,589 Your dad's gay, right? 556 00:31:53,590 --> 00:31:55,469 Oh, yeah! 557 00:31:55,470 --> 00:31:59,470 Thanks. 558 00:32:02,190 --> 00:32:03,189 Right, go on. 559 00:32:03,190 --> 00:32:04,269 What? 560 00:32:04,270 --> 00:32:08,270 Go on! 561 00:32:11,310 --> 00:32:12,709 Er... 562 00:32:12,710 --> 00:32:16,710 So, Remona, if you hadn't come to work for me, what were you planning on doing? 563 00:32:16,830 --> 00:32:18,828 Well, I was thinking of travelling. 564 00:32:18,829 --> 00:32:21,510 I still might, once we've got this place all up and running. 565 00:32:21,511 --> 00:32:23,589 Where? The homeland? 566 00:32:23,590 --> 00:32:26,549 The what?! I'm not a fucking druid! 567 00:32:26,550 --> 00:32:28,469 Oi! 568 00:32:28,470 --> 00:32:32,068 What is up with you? You've been in a right weird mood all day! 569 00:32:32,069 --> 00:32:36,070 I don't know. Middle East, North Africa, Morocco. Do me bit. 570 00:32:38,270 --> 00:32:42,270 Your bit? For the Caliphate? 571 00:32:42,750 --> 00:32:46,750 Ooh! The Caliphate, eh? You read the Koran, then, do you? 572 00:32:46,790 --> 00:32:50,790 I had you figured more as the "waiting for the DVD" type. 573 00:32:51,070 --> 00:32:52,909 Flicked through it. 574 00:32:52,910 --> 00:32:55,948 Never down with the whole spiritual Islam stuff, though. 575 00:32:55,949 --> 00:32:59,510 Takes more than aggressive pamphleting to get people onside, don't it? 576 00:32:59,511 --> 00:33:01,349 Dunno. 577 00:33:01,350 --> 00:33:05,350 Depends how aggressively you pamphlet, I suppose. 578 00:33:07,990 --> 00:33:10,509 Well? Was that fundamentally? 579 00:33:10,510 --> 00:33:12,909 Don't really know. Don't you? 580 00:33:12,910 --> 00:33:15,588 That flight's in three hours, right? So as long as she's here... 581 00:33:15,589 --> 00:33:18,550 Right, we're off. We'll finish up tomorrow. 582 00:33:18,551 --> 00:33:20,189 Where you going? 583 00:33:20,190 --> 00:33:21,869 Scout stuff. 584 00:33:21,870 --> 00:33:23,109 What Scout stuff? 585 00:33:23,110 --> 00:33:25,710 Well, if we told you that, we'd have to kill you! 586 00:33:27,110 --> 00:33:28,670 Come on, boys! 587 00:33:35,556 --> 00:33:38,876 What you doing? You said we were going shopping. 588 00:33:38,967 --> 00:33:41,325 Bernard's done nothing. 589 00:33:41,326 --> 00:33:43,045 So you're going to. 590 00:33:43,046 --> 00:33:46,005 March in there like Mary fucking Portas 591 00:33:46,006 --> 00:33:50,006 and lay down the law, just like you said. 592 00:33:50,126 --> 00:33:54,126 All right. I will, then. 593 00:33:55,526 --> 00:33:57,485 Did you hear me? 594 00:33:57,486 --> 00:34:01,486 Please. Let's just go home. 595 00:34:03,526 --> 00:34:05,845 OK. 596 00:34:05,846 --> 00:34:08,425 What are you doing here, Mrs St Rose? 597 00:34:08,435 --> 00:34:12,074 Nothing. We're going. Let's go, Avril. 598 00:34:12,075 --> 00:34:14,073 Well, I know you've spoke to him, 599 00:34:14,074 --> 00:34:15,673 so we both know where we stand 600 00:34:15,674 --> 00:34:18,915 and as far as you're concerned, this place carries on as normal. 601 00:34:18,916 --> 00:34:21,714 Normal?! Some nerve using that word... 602 00:34:21,715 --> 00:34:25,715 Oh. Homophobia now? Cos you do know who I am? 603 00:34:26,155 --> 00:34:28,434 How this place got started? 604 00:34:28,435 --> 00:34:31,555 How me and your Bernard used to... 605 00:34:42,275 --> 00:34:46,275 I'm so sorry, Patreesha. 606 00:34:58,075 --> 00:35:00,714 Right. You listen to me. 607 00:35:00,715 --> 00:35:03,954 Firstly, yeah, I know exactly who you are. 608 00:35:03,955 --> 00:35:07,193 Secondly, I am not homophobic, I just hate you. 609 00:35:07,194 --> 00:35:10,073 And thirdly, I think we both know that no matter 610 00:35:10,074 --> 00:35:11,433 who signs your cheques, 611 00:35:11,434 --> 00:35:15,395 this whole enterprise will end the second I sell my half of the lease. 612 00:35:15,396 --> 00:35:17,314 Which I'm not going to do. 613 00:35:17,315 --> 00:35:20,835 Because I've just decided I suddenly like this business after all. 614 00:35:20,836 --> 00:35:24,835 Especially the having your balls in the drawer part. 615 00:35:25,355 --> 00:35:26,754 What do you want? 616 00:35:26,755 --> 00:35:30,755 "What do you want... boss?" 617 00:35:36,795 --> 00:35:38,274 You can head off. 618 00:35:38,275 --> 00:35:40,275 I'm going to introduce myself to my new staff. 619 00:35:40,276 --> 00:35:41,634 Sorry? 620 00:35:41,635 --> 00:35:45,635 You heard him, Avril. How this whole thing got started. 621 00:35:45,755 --> 00:35:48,393 How him and Bernard took these poor boys from the streets 622 00:35:48,394 --> 00:35:50,393 and offered them a fresh chance at life. 623 00:35:50,394 --> 00:35:52,435 Think it's about time I did my bit too. 624 00:35:52,436 --> 00:35:56,435 You know me, always been about taking care of others. 625 00:35:58,075 --> 00:36:02,075 Yeah. That's you all over. 626 00:36:23,155 --> 00:36:26,233 This has gone too far. What are we going to do, 627 00:36:26,234 --> 00:36:29,113 sit and watch her load explosives into the back of that van? 628 00:36:29,114 --> 00:36:30,593 Follow her to the airport? 629 00:36:30,594 --> 00:36:31,735 I'm going to talk to her. 630 00:36:31,817 --> 00:36:33,455 Chesney! No, you can't! 631 00:36:33,456 --> 00:36:34,734 She might listen to me. 632 00:36:34,735 --> 00:36:36,696 Or she might strap you up in a suicide vest 633 00:36:36,697 --> 00:36:40,696 and hand you your flight tickets. 634 00:36:47,536 --> 00:36:51,536 I need to talk to her. 635 00:37:08,256 --> 00:37:12,256 Boys. As you were. 636 00:37:12,696 --> 00:37:13,935 How did you know? 637 00:37:13,936 --> 00:37:17,896 I saw it all - the chemistry kit, the blueprint of the plane. 638 00:37:17,897 --> 00:37:20,015 MDD407? 639 00:37:20,016 --> 00:37:21,254 Adam's flight to Ibiza? 640 00:37:21,255 --> 00:37:22,936 Who's Adam? The guy with the beard? 641 00:37:22,937 --> 00:37:24,455 What beard? 642 00:37:24,456 --> 00:37:28,456 Adam's the owner, I told you that. He's opening a bar in Ibi... 643 00:37:28,496 --> 00:37:30,455 Oh, hang on. 644 00:37:30,456 --> 00:37:34,456 Are you trying to say I'm a fucking terrorist?! 645 00:37:34,856 --> 00:37:36,135 Aren't you? 646 00:37:36,136 --> 00:37:37,815 Er, no, Chesney. 647 00:37:37,816 --> 00:37:39,894 I'm a pharmaceutical technician. 648 00:37:39,895 --> 00:37:41,854 And if you saw chemistry sets, 649 00:37:41,855 --> 00:37:45,216 it's because I'm teaching this lot how to make soap. 650 00:37:45,217 --> 00:37:48,895 We try to fit it in between model plane making 651 00:37:48,896 --> 00:37:50,975 and planning mass genocide. 652 00:37:50,976 --> 00:37:53,616 And I thought you would've had more sense, Mary-Lou. 653 00:37:53,617 --> 00:37:55,495 Mary Mae. 654 00:37:55,496 --> 00:37:57,094 What are you doing then? 655 00:37:57,095 --> 00:37:59,896 What does it look like? I'm burning down the shop. 656 00:37:59,897 --> 00:38:01,175 Burning? Why? 657 00:38:01,176 --> 00:38:04,335 Because I spent 15 years of my life here, 658 00:38:04,336 --> 00:38:07,495 and just like that he's making me unemployed 659 00:38:07,496 --> 00:38:10,656 and homeless without so much as even breaking into a sweat. 660 00:38:10,657 --> 00:38:12,055 Homeless? 661 00:38:12,056 --> 00:38:14,654 Yeah, homeless. I did live here, you know? 662 00:38:14,655 --> 00:38:16,374 Not that it meant anything to him. 663 00:38:16,375 --> 00:38:19,016 So I'm burning this place to the ground, 664 00:38:19,017 --> 00:38:23,016 I'm keeping your money and nobody will be any the wiser. 665 00:38:24,696 --> 00:38:27,376 Well, seeing as you're here, you might as well give me a hand. 666 00:38:27,377 --> 00:38:31,376 There's a couple more jerry cans out the back. 667 00:38:38,296 --> 00:38:40,735 Come in. 668 00:38:40,736 --> 00:38:44,736 What's up? 669 00:38:50,296 --> 00:38:54,296 We'll give you some privacy. 670 00:39:02,496 --> 00:39:04,255 Where are you? 671 00:39:04,256 --> 00:39:06,855 South. Nice view of the Riviera. 672 00:39:06,856 --> 00:39:10,856 Scenic. You always did like the coast. Seven-hour drive. 673 00:39:12,816 --> 00:39:15,535 Five hours on the train. 674 00:39:15,536 --> 00:39:19,536 Have to bring the kids. Nights in a Bandamp;B, half our life here, 675 00:39:19,656 --> 00:39:21,055 half our life there, 676 00:39:21,056 --> 00:39:22,935 whilst we wait for you. 677 00:39:22,936 --> 00:39:25,456 That's how it's going to be now, isn't it? 678 00:39:25,457 --> 00:39:27,095 Perhaps. 679 00:39:27,096 --> 00:39:30,415 No "perhaps" about it, Kas. 680 00:39:30,416 --> 00:39:32,415 How could we not? 681 00:39:32,416 --> 00:39:36,416 After all, we had the perfect life, didn't we? 682 00:39:36,736 --> 00:39:40,736 That's got to be worth waiting for, hasn't it? 683 00:39:41,256 --> 00:39:44,496 We weren't perfect. 684 00:39:49,456 --> 00:39:52,015 No? 685 00:39:52,016 --> 00:39:54,096 You talk in your sleep, you know? 686 00:39:54,097 --> 00:39:56,535 Always the same thing. 687 00:39:56,536 --> 00:40:00,455 "I want big cock." 688 00:40:00,456 --> 00:40:03,614 At first, because of that stupid accent of yours, I thought you 689 00:40:03,615 --> 00:40:06,176 were talking about yourself, until you started adding, 690 00:40:06,177 --> 00:40:08,055 "In my mouth." 691 00:40:08,056 --> 00:40:09,375 Oh? 692 00:40:09,376 --> 00:40:12,216 But, you know, you should try not to think about it too much. 693 00:40:12,217 --> 00:40:14,575 You're an emotional eater, Esther. 694 00:40:14,576 --> 00:40:16,456 Probably glad to be in there - all those men. 695 00:40:16,457 --> 00:40:18,415 I can't wait. 696 00:40:18,416 --> 00:40:20,654 I don't want you horsing down pies, 697 00:40:20,655 --> 00:40:22,896 jealous of all the action I'm seeing in here. 698 00:40:22,897 --> 00:40:24,295 How kind. 699 00:40:24,296 --> 00:40:26,936 Not entirely. I'm being a little selfish. 700 00:40:26,937 --> 00:40:30,936 You know, your visits, you, bigger and bigger each time. 701 00:40:31,616 --> 00:40:34,174 I won't be able to get it up in my cell at night. 702 00:40:34,175 --> 00:40:38,176 Visions of your lardy buttocks and thighs filling my head. 703 00:40:40,256 --> 00:40:44,255 Perhaps it's better I don't come at all, then? 704 00:40:44,256 --> 00:40:48,256 Perhaps it is. 705 00:40:48,776 --> 00:40:52,135 I will be OK, you know? 706 00:40:52,136 --> 00:40:56,136 I don't doubt it. 707 00:41:01,376 --> 00:41:05,376 Thanks, Jamie. Nice to get that out of my system. 708 00:41:11,576 --> 00:41:13,374 You must take care of her, Jamie. 709 00:41:13,375 --> 00:41:15,216 She doesn't want taking care of, you heard her, she's off her... 710 00:41:15,217 --> 00:41:19,216 You promised. 711 00:41:20,976 --> 00:41:24,976 Thank you. 712 00:41:35,976 --> 00:41:37,774 So who's the bloke with the beard? 713 00:41:37,775 --> 00:41:40,694 He's a hairdresser. Been saving a few bits for him. 714 00:41:40,695 --> 00:41:42,416 Him? He was a hairdresser? 715 00:41:42,417 --> 00:41:44,415 He's very good. 716 00:41:44,416 --> 00:41:47,295 You could do with a trim yourself. 717 00:41:47,296 --> 00:41:49,856 I'm not getting my hair cut. 718 00:41:54,176 --> 00:41:57,055 Right. I say you show me my new local, 719 00:41:57,056 --> 00:41:59,014 and then we shift my cases up to your flat. 720 00:41:59,015 --> 00:42:00,254 What you on about? My flat? 721 00:42:00,255 --> 00:42:01,734 Guys, we really need to get going. 722 00:42:01,735 --> 00:42:03,214 Where else am I going to live? 723 00:42:03,215 --> 00:42:05,814 We've just burned my place down, in case you haven't noticed. 724 00:42:05,815 --> 00:42:08,056 Anyway, it was all in the contract. You signed it. 725 00:42:08,057 --> 00:42:12,056 Chesney, now! 726 00:42:14,496 --> 00:42:18,414 White wine spritzer, and one for yourself, love. I'm celebrating. 727 00:42:18,415 --> 00:42:19,816 Why, have you won the lottery? 728 00:42:19,817 --> 00:42:22,455 No. They've gone back up. 729 00:42:22,456 --> 00:42:24,295 Oh, God. 730 00:42:24,296 --> 00:42:26,815 Eh, Charlton, you got a fag, mate? 731 00:42:26,816 --> 00:42:30,655 Ta. 732 00:42:30,656 --> 00:42:32,335 You OK? 733 00:42:32,336 --> 00:42:34,815 I'll survive. It's what I do. 734 00:42:34,816 --> 00:42:37,935 When he makes a promise, he sticks to it, 735 00:42:37,936 --> 00:42:40,214 whether the rest of us like it or not. 736 00:42:40,215 --> 00:42:43,176 He does mean well. Even if he does seem a bit... 737 00:42:43,177 --> 00:42:44,855 Neanderthal. 738 00:42:44,856 --> 00:42:48,856 Emotionally awkward. 739 00:42:49,496 --> 00:42:53,496 I guess nobody's perfect, are they? 740 00:42:58,056 --> 00:42:59,856 And how are you tonight, Frank? 741 00:42:59,857 --> 00:43:02,255 Bit dry. 742 00:43:02,256 --> 00:43:04,935 Last time. 743 00:43:04,936 --> 00:43:07,335 Yeah, course. 744 00:43:07,336 --> 00:43:11,336 It's definitely mine. Go on. See you in a minute. 745 00:43:12,896 --> 00:43:15,975 So, the pink ladies ride again? 746 00:43:15,976 --> 00:43:18,654 Yeah, they're nice lads when you get to know them. 747 00:43:18,655 --> 00:43:21,216 Thought I'd bring them down here. They don't get out much. 748 00:43:21,217 --> 00:43:24,215 You know, if my husband had lied to me - 749 00:43:24,216 --> 00:43:27,136 about the business, I mean - I'd have left him there and then. 750 00:43:27,137 --> 00:43:29,775 Seems like a good reason. 751 00:43:29,776 --> 00:43:31,614 Well, I'm not you, am I, Avril? 752 00:43:31,615 --> 00:43:34,496 Which is probably why I'm still happily married. 753 00:43:34,497 --> 00:43:38,496 Four pina coladas, please. 754 00:43:38,576 --> 00:43:41,136 You're actually OK about this, aren't you? 755 00:43:41,137 --> 00:43:44,135 More than OK, you almost seem happy. 756 00:43:44,136 --> 00:43:46,574 What if I am? She's all right, isn't she? 757 00:43:46,575 --> 00:43:49,454 I've been in that flat on me own for ages now. 758 00:43:49,455 --> 00:43:52,334 Plus, you heard her, she reckons she's a good cook. 759 00:43:52,335 --> 00:43:55,096 And she keeps things tidy, you saw that chemist. 760 00:43:55,097 --> 00:43:58,775 You want a wifey, don't you? Cooking and cleaning. 761 00:43:58,776 --> 00:44:01,696 Trust me, I'm not thinking of her as a wife. 762 00:44:01,697 --> 00:44:05,295 Oi! Mind out, knobhead. 763 00:44:05,296 --> 00:44:07,336 Fuck me! They've cloned Yvonne! 764 00:44:07,337 --> 00:44:08,815 Who's Yvonne? 765 00:44:08,816 --> 00:44:11,215 His mum. 766 00:44:11,216 --> 00:44:13,095 Total mentalist. 767 00:44:13,096 --> 00:44:17,096 Fucking mouth on her. 768 00:44:20,016 --> 00:44:24,016 Chesney, tuck your shirt in. 769 00:44:24,176 --> 00:44:26,815 'Oh, I dunno. 770 00:44:26,816 --> 00:44:29,295 'Maybe I got this whole game wrong. 771 00:44:29,296 --> 00:44:31,056 'Maybe lowering your expectations 772 00:44:31,057 --> 00:44:33,855 'isn't such a bad thing after all. 773 00:44:33,856 --> 00:44:35,375 'Cos if you don't...' 774 00:44:35,376 --> 00:44:37,934 Pencil mark, have you done your pencil mark? 775 00:44:37,935 --> 00:44:40,094 '..you might actually start to believe 776 00:44:40,095 --> 00:44:41,694 'you've got everything you want. 777 00:44:41,695 --> 00:44:44,376 'And that's how you miss out on the really good stuff.' 778 00:44:44,377 --> 00:44:48,135 Come on, do you want your slave labour badges or not? 779 00:44:48,136 --> 00:44:50,294 'Like finding that certain someone 780 00:44:50,295 --> 00:44:52,334 'who suddenly makes you rethink it all, 781 00:44:52,335 --> 00:44:54,574 'changes your priorities, makes you grow, 782 00:44:54,575 --> 00:44:56,856 'gives you a whole new set of expectations 783 00:44:56,857 --> 00:45:00,856 'to start all over again with.' 784 00:45:10,376 --> 00:45:11,975 'And trust me, 785 00:45:11,976 --> 00:45:13,496 'that beats being an action hero 786 00:45:13,497 --> 00:45:17,496 'any day of the week.' 787 00:45:17,736 --> 00:45:18,854 Call an ambulance. 788 00:45:18,855 --> 00:45:20,614 He wanted to die. He did it himself. 789 00:45:20,615 --> 00:45:23,054 'Young Aidan's found himself in a spot of trouble.' 790 00:45:23,055 --> 00:45:25,494 Pretty much the only thing standing between him and jail. 791 00:45:25,495 --> 00:45:27,054 Bad enough we have to live here, 792 00:45:27,055 --> 00:45:29,654 but I'm not sharing my space with that... parasite. 793 00:45:29,655 --> 00:45:31,854 I don't want you hanging round my house, Frank! 794 00:45:31,855 --> 00:45:33,016 Well, your mum does. 795 00:45:33,017 --> 00:45:34,055 I'm in the way. 796 00:45:34,056 --> 00:45:36,174 'From now on, just the four of us.' 797 00:45:36,175 --> 00:45:38,094 What about the flash trainers? Driving around in Stan's car. 798 00:45:38,095 --> 00:45:39,174 You think he killed him? 799 00:45:39,175 --> 00:45:41,656 This is Stanton's cash card. What you doing with that? 800 00:45:41,657 --> 00:45:43,136 It wasn't fucking me! 801 00:45:43,281 --> 00:46:23,252